"Sometimes I have to take a break from being spiritual.
Why Bother Doing Spiritual Things?
If you read my post about my spiritual practice story, you know I have been in what I have thought of as an extended agnostic phase, and that there have been times in the past year and a half that I didn't bother with a spiritual practice.
It felt old and outdated, no longer useful, and it felt weird to do spiritual things when I had no idea if they would have any impact on anything at all.
And if, like me, you are spiritual but not religious, you may not have a compelling reason either to carefully craft a spiritual practice. And actually, even deeply religious people have dry spells. So if you are reading this and are a person of deep religious faith, you may be able to relate to this question, too.
So then, why not just leave it alone for a while? Maybe even a long while. Maybe just decide not to worry about it and live unspiritually? (I know, I made that word up)
Well, one answer is that you may not like the way that feels.
I did that. I took some time off.
I was grieving the loss of my favorite aunt and I was not in the mood to connect with the divine, who I suspected might not really be there.
My focus became very narrow. I became concerned with the wellbeing of myself and my family and that was it.
And I am still in the middle of this story, as I have mentioned before.
But I am not in the same place I was all those many months ago. Mind you, I still have all the doubts, and the big question marks.
Yet it's not the same experience. Even things like doubt and grief change form, I suppose.
And believe it or not, I am beginning to get some answers now to this question of why I should bother. Even though nothing has been resolved. I'll tell you more about what I mean in the next couple of posts.
How do you feel about it? If you have ever been in dark night territory, did you avoid your spiritual practice? Did you feel like giving up on it?
If you landed on the side of giving up on being spiritual, I completely understand.
By the way, I want to take a moment to thank you for reading these blog posts. It's not fun to listen to someone talk about being in pain. About loss. And doubt.
I really appreciate your willingness to do so.